如何让你的个人陈述PS脱颖而出?

个人陈述(PS)

8

2020年的申请季即将过去,几家欢喜几家愁。没有拿到梦校OFFER的同学们都不要灰心,再接再厉。只要怀揣海外留学之梦,提早做足准备,相信终究会有好的结果。好啦,无论是不是二战,明年的申请早早提上日程了吗?高中成绩单和推荐信早就都准备好了,SAT的成绩也快要出来了, 还有一份重要的申请材料,便是个人陈述 (Personal Statement)。每年总是有很多同学,申请截止日期已迫在眉睫,这份至关重要的文书却迟迟无从下手。

小编想说, 不要怕!每个留学申请旺季,Wordvice都会收到数千篇的文书润色请求,我们的编辑看过许多非常优秀(当然也有很差的)大学申请文书。

本文将告诉大家,如何才能写出最适合自己的个人陈述(Personal Statement),我们也为大家准备了一些国外大学申请个人陈述优秀范文,以供参考。

本篇文章探讨的重点如下:

  • 什么是个人陈述?      
  • 如今在申请国外大学的过程中,个人陈述有多重要?  
  • 招生委员想从个人陈述里面看到什么?   
  • 第一步,参考出色的个人陈述范例 
  • 最后一步,通过英文润色修改服务改善你的个人陈述

什么是个人陈述?

申请国外大学时,申请者常被要求提交的个人陈述(Personal Statement)甚至可以成为其能否成功拿到Offer的决定性关键,是海外院校招生委员在审核申请者提交的各类材料时,非常重视的一个部分。高中生们在申请国外大学时,这是一个让其可以用自己独特的方式展现个人魅力的绝佳机会。

不同于SAT、雅思、托福和在校绩点这类标化成绩,个人陈述(Personal Statement) 可以说是非常个性化的材料。推荐信虽然有很多部分可能会和个人陈述的内容重复,但推荐信是毕竟是经由推荐人撰写的,展现申请者的视角是完全不同的。

那么,我们要如何高效地撰写一份有针对性的个人陈述(Personal Statement)呢?

我们为大家罗列出三大要点:

1.能让人广泛全面地了解你的个人背景和学术背景你的学术背景,个人特质,甚至专业背景可能成为能否被国外大学录取的最终关键因素。但是在描述方面,个人陈述(Personal Statement)和履历简历(Resume or CV)有着非常大的差异2.能让人准确地看到你的学业目标或是人生目标

一篇好的个人陈述(Personal Statement)必须要在你的背景,申请的课程,还有人生目标之间,找到连接点,同时展现你所具备的技能,资源和背景,是如何与你的学校轮廓一致和谐。在商业世界中,这被称为“统一性(vertical alignment) ”。换句话说,要想在其他申请者中脱颖而出,一定要把个人背景和申请的课程自然地联系起来,才会显得有说服力。即,你的背景能帮助你成功拿到OFFER!

3.回答特定问题 

通常,申请国外的大学时,一般会针对你申请的特定课程,提出特定的问题。申请某大学商学院课程,和申请表演艺术课程,会被要求回答不同的问题。因此,请确保在准备个人陈述的时候,不仅要把目标大学的情况了解清楚,还要把相应学科内的特定专业和特定教授的研究方向也都了解清楚。

在后面,我们给出了两份个人陈述(Personal Statement)写作范例,从中我们可以看到这点的重要性!

 

8-2

构思,组织和撰写完美的留学申请论文。

 如今在申请国外大学的过程中,个人陈述有多重要?

由于COVID-19疫情的关系,SAT/ACT成绩的重要性已降低 

Common App宣布将在2020-2021年招生季包含有关COVID-19的指定论文题目。结果,学生们争先恐后地想如何在大学申请论文中撰写有关COVID-19的文章

甚至有更多证据显示,申请国外大学时,相比标化成绩,文书正悄悄地成为留学申请中最重要的一个部分。根据CBS新闻报导

越来越多的美国大学在审核的过程中舍弃了ACT和SAT成绩。由于COVID-19导致标化考试取消,所谓的“盲测运动”在今年蠢蠢欲动。

此外,据近期公布的一个新的规定,加州大学的公立学校系统(the University of California public school system)在审核申请者过程中,不能再将SAT/ACT分数纳入考量系统。显而易见,去除标化考试的单一评价标准已经指日可待,这同时意味着提交申请用的文书材料变得越来越重要。

招生委员想从个人陈述里面看到什么?

海外院校的招生委员会,把申请者提交的文书材料看得越来越重要。他们想看的是什么呢?答案显而易见。他们想要通过个人陈述,勾勒出更加精确的申请者画像。

那么作为申请者,就要在准备个人陈述时,大致从以下三个方面进行相应的解释说明。

1.展现自己的个性招生委员们一般会根据成绩单和GPA来衡量申请者的学术能力,而推荐信,则是向招生委员展示他人是如何看待你的,以及你是如何与他人交往的。另一方面,你的个人陈述还可以让招生委员了解您的个性,也能展示你将如何适应社会和对于学校的贡献。你是否专注于并拥有很多专业经验和计划来支持它?还是对于广泛的事物充满好奇心?你的动机与实现具体目标有关,还是本质上更具个人色彩或情感色彩?与世界互动的模样正是你的个人陈述文章所应展现的。以书面成绩来判断的话,你的SAT成绩,GPA和课外活动表现可能与他人相似,你们可能申请同一个大学科系,但是评审委员们知道没有任何申请者会是一模一样的,重要的是两者都能各自符合学校的要求。2.解释不理想的纪录

你的成绩是否曾经游走在及格边缘?你曾经挂科过吗?这种情况在申请材料里面看起来会非常显眼,大学招生委员都希望申请者可以对这些异常记录作出一定的合理解释,另外更重要的是,他们想看到申请者是怎么看待自己的这些过去?随着世界走向全球化,大家都已经开始意识到,不同社会之间是存在差距的,人们对”成功”的传统定义也变得越来越模糊, 美国大学甚至已经针对贫困学生的多元化和包容性拟定标准计划最重要的是,国外大学的招生委员希望看到的更多是,你是如何面对和克服困难的。有克服困难的勇气和智慧,这才是他们想要看到的申请人特质!

3.阐述您申请此大学的动机

除了展现个人魅力和解释申请材料的瑕疵之外,一篇成功的留学申请文书也会包括申请该所大学的原因,这个理由浅显易懂不需要我们多做解释,但是许多同学如同写求职履历一样,专注于推销自己,完全遗忘最重要的根本-为什么要申请该所大学。

那么,该如何解释为什么要申请该所大学呢?

  • 找到该所大学吸引你的原因,解释这与你的个人目标和个性有什么关联。      
  • 分析学校独有的特色,可以是教授,课程或是校内设备。 

8-3

解放你的创造力,留学申请论文是你画布。

第一步:参考出色的个人陈述范例

我们都知道个人陈述的重要性和作用,那么在准备前,第一步可以做什么呢?

模仿成功范例

在Wordvice,我们鼓励大学申请者参考成功的个人陈述范例,以真正吸收和洞悉有吸引力的留学申请文书是什么。尽可能多地阅读,因为没有两个学生是一模一样的。但是您会看到很多主题一次又一次的在成功的个人陈述中被讨论提及。

个人陈述范例解析

Wordvice为大家提供了两篇成功的个人陈述范例,内文包含了编辑提供给学生的评论和反馈。这两篇文章都是由Wordvice英美专业编辑团队的编辑老师修改过的,也恭喜两篇个人陈述的作者都成功被理想院校录取了。

范文 1:Holistic Profile

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my interest in studying at the University of ________ as a Supply Chain Management student. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my letter. I am currently studying for a bachelor’s degree in Public Finance and Supply Chain Management at ________ University. I have decided to apply to your Supply Chain Management programme because I am sure it would strongly enrich my future studies and help me in my prospective career. Moreover , I consider this programme as a great opportunity to get to know ________ culture and its well-developed logistic background. I am also very curious about the different approaches taken in this field at a prominent university. I have chosen to apply to the University of________ because it examines all types of supply chain management perspectives, from production to services. During my previous studies, I discovered that simply working on procurement is far from enough. My fellow students and I had the opportunity to create an e-commerce project. At the time, the only thing in our control was the procurement decision, but I soon realized I had the capacity and drive to learn more about solutions and innovations. 

Another reason I am applying for this programme at ________ is its close relationship with relevant companies in my desired field. I learned on the university’s website that there is a specific resource that helps to connect students with these companies. Since I am interested in working in the Netherlands after I graduate, this resource will definitely be useful for my career. In addition, the fact that this programme offers an option to participate in an apprenticeship is very appealing to me. This could not only broaden my horizons through practical experience but also provide a chance for me to expand my connections in the industry. 

My current undergraduate studies make me highly suitable for this programme. I have learned the basic foundations of supply chain management through courses such as operations management, strategic purchasing, and inventory management. I have also taken mathematics and statistics to help me understand data problems. 

In addition to my academic interests, I have a full and interesting life off-campus. I was a member of our school volleyball team, which won several championships; this led to me graduating as an honour’s student. Those times spent on the court have strengthened my team spirit and my ability to work under pressure. During summer vacations, I spend time travelling around Europe and the United States. My first experience in Amsterdam was unforgettable, and it made me consider coming back in the future. Planning the trip carefully , and living alone in an unfamiliar area, have turned me into a more independent young woman. 

Professionally, I have done internships in international companies such as Red Bull and ASUS. These experiences gave me the chance to work in a global context with people from different countries, which has encouraged me to have a more flexible and adaptive mindset. Because of these wonderful experiences, I am certain I will conquer all future challenges and make the most out of them. 

In conclusion, I am very eager to study Supply Chain Management at the University of ________, as it would give me a chance to deepen my skills and knowledge in one of the field’s top universities. I am confident I excel in this programme due to my solid educational foundation in business and personality strengths.

Thank you again for reading my personal statement. I look forward to hearing from you.

一起来看看,为什么这篇个人陈述被我们选为成功范文

1.组织架构良好,清楚回答主题申请人清楚地列出了她的教育和专业背景以及拥有的技能。她还提供了两段完整的段落,列出为什么选择此课程,并随后解释了为什么她既有资格又非常完美适合该课程。这篇文章展示了出色的组织能力,并且如同英语母语者般的优秀写作,能够自然流畅地表明想法。2.个人的故事却不会像履历乏味

该申请人具有非常优秀的学术和专业背景。扎实地将自己所学和专业领域做结合,她不仅仅在该领域实习,她能够将学习到的数学经验与个人动机连结起来,甚至是提及她的社团活动,以表明她不仅仅是个懂数字的学生,也活跃于课外活动。这里可以体现出两点。首先,她是一个全方位发展良好,而不仅仅是一个只在乎学习成绩的学生。其次,她充分了解个人的特质,因此选择了这个特定且适合自己的课程。最后,确保你的大学申请文书能传达这一点!

3.针对不同的学校和专业,写出有针对性的个人陈述

每所大学都有商学院,每个商学院都有供应链管理课程。大学评审招生委员该如何藉由阅读她的个人陈述,了解她申请此学校和科系的动机呢?申请人清楚地说明了她个人想进入荷兰这所大学的决心。她列出了她的个人旅行经历,并具体描述藉由学校课程能够如何帮助她实现她的计划。

范文 2:“EnthusiasticAchiever”

I am passionate about computers because technology will continue to play a fundamental role in our lives. Based on this fact, I researched colleges that have both a strong computer science program and co-op program, and this is when I found Hofstra. I visited the campus for a tour and was really impressed with what I saw. Not only are the campus facilities top-notch, but the advanced computer science labs are world class. This shows Hofstra’s focus to be able to provide the best intellectual and technical resources for students. I asked my tour guide about the class sizes and curriculum style. I was thrilled when he told me that average class sizes are in the 20s and that the curriculum emphasizes experiential learning. I am looking for more than just academic excellence; extracurricular activities, including community service opportunities, are also very important to me. In researching schools that would provide students with the most well-rounded lifestyles, I was amazed to see the number of philanthropic events that the school hosts and supports. Philanthropy seems ingrained in the school’s culture. I also saw hundreds of clubs that can cater to everyone’s unique interests. Students are also welcome to start new clubs if no existing clubs can foster their interests. The energy on campus is something that I noticed right away. Both the students and staff show a lot of pride for Hofstra, and it’s truly memorable how enthusiastic the school spirit is among students. Leaving home to attend college is a big change for everyone, and I think school pride and a strong sense of community will help me make a smooth transition. I was very happy to hear that students get two tickets to events on campus. This is especially great because I am a sports fan and would love to experience the electric game day atmosphere of a division one basketball game and cheer on the Lions! Hofstra’s location is also ideal because it has the advantages of being in a smaller town but also being very close to New York City. I do not want to attend college in a big city, but the fact that New York city is so close opens up a lot of opportunities. First off, there are numerous internships at top companies in the city. In addition, it would be great to visit the city from time to time and see a show or sports game. Being able to do that with friends would give me great experiences and memories. 

Hofstra is my top choice because it fulfills my most important criteria: esteemed faculty members, a strong computer science program, a strong sense of belonging, amazing internship and community service opportunities, and a diverse campus. I cannot wait to be a Hofstra Lion

一起来看看,为什么这篇个人陈述也被我们选为成功范文

1.简单明了,符合字数限制要求这篇文章约有461个单词,非常完美地低于许多大学申请文书的500个单字的限制。尽管内容是主要重点,但是每个学校对留学申请文书中都会列出所有规则,你在准备个人陈述时,必须要遵守。其中包括最平凡但不可或缺的-字数限制。2.提到学校各个面向并列出卖点

该学生将霍夫斯特拉大学(Hofstra University)的地理位置,学科,运动,课外活动,甚至是慈善活动。这名学生不只是将宣传手册上的特点列出,也将每个特点与自身经验和情感相互结合。这应该是一篇每个学生都向往写出的留学申请文书。

8-4

如果你问,两篇文书的成功关键是什么?

答案:专业的留学文书英文润色服务

尽管大学是影响未来社会生活和就职一大重要因素,仍看到有些学生写出的个人陈述(Personal Statement)和其他留学申请文书(Admissions Essay)缺乏组织架构,毫无逻辑可言,找不到重点。这就是为什么需要像Wordvice这样的英文润色公司的存在,我们提供专业的留学文书润色服务,能够帮助您提升个人陈述及其他各类申请文书的英文写作品质。

相关文章:海外留学入学申请书需要润色的理由?

1.我们能帮助你挑出遗漏的错误

大学入学评审委员每年必须淘汰一定数量的申请者,我们肯定,如果你的文书有任何语法或是拼写错误,前方是淘汰堆,慢走不送。

人们都需要一些自我意识和经验,来判断何时需要他人的帮助,无论是多么优秀的人要完美拥有这样的认知是非常不容易的。

我们的大脑难以控制自己的偏见,在撰写个人陈述时,要客观地说服评审委员也是一个主要的问题。

2.我们能帮助你节省宝贵的时间

根据大学咨询服务机构统计表示,每位申请人平均申请5.9所学校。当然,学生都会希望自己能进去一所好的大学,可惜的是时间不够,而我们也无法用金钱买到时间。

Wordvice留学文书英文修改服务帮助你节省时间,因此你拥有更多的时间可以做更重要的事情。

3.我们能帮助你提高英语沟通能力

无论是ESL学生还是英语母语者,每个人都可以藉由英语润色服务提高自己的英文写作水平。就大学申请文书而言,有没有经过英文修改,这可能影响到是被梦想中的第一志愿还是第二志愿录取。编辑能帮助你纠正语法等基本语言错误,甚至是提升文章行文流畅度,提高可读性。

如果你正在撰写个人陈述之类的留学申请文书,你一定会需要在国外大学申请方面具有丰富的审阅修改经验的编辑。 

 

此外:对于留学申请还有其他疑问吗?

 我们希望这篇文章提供的成功个人陈述范例能带给你帮助,那下一步呢?

 我想知道更多关于大学申请过程 

想知道更多关于留学申请的秘诀吗?无论是个人陈述或是推荐信都可以参考Wordvice留学部落格。

 我对个人陈述的专业英文润色感兴趣

如果对留学文书英文润色感兴趣的话,欢迎参考留学文件润色服务留学文书深度修改服务,你能从中得到你要的帮助。

 我已经准备我要提升我的留学文书了!

欢迎参考我们的价目表挑选期望返件的时间和FAQ页面查看更多资讯,或是直接进入订单列表开始下单。

Leave a Reply

Notify of

wpDiscuz